Reclaiming control from anxiety.
I have to admit this post has taken me a very long time to write, knowing it will be out there, on the web, for all to read. The anxious, doubtful non-believer in my mind ironically saying “what will they think of you”, “who do you think you are?!”. But the reason I am writing this is because reading about others' experiences was, and is, so healing for me.
At a time when I was searching for answers reading other peoples experiences through blogs, books, podcasts was very soothing to know it wasn’t just me who felt the way I did.
I want to pass on those pieces I picked up along the way which helped me in my search for answers when my mind and body was overrun with anxiety.
Where does anxiety come from?
Anxiety develops and manifests differently for everyone, and can stem from;
Trauma (big or small)
Limiting beliefs (stories we’ve told ourselves unconsciously creating these beliefs)
These beliefs become thoughts, which become feelings, which become actions.
Anxiety is usually triggered when you are in a particular situation in which your mind and body believe you are in danger. It’s usually something around the most important thing in your life where your mind will tell you something horrible is going to happen in the future or may have happened and you can’t stop worrying about it and obsessing.
At that point in time your mind and body go into flight or fight mode, and basically internally all shit breaks loose.
My personal journey with anxiety started when I was around 20 years old, although I didn't realise what I was experiencing was anxiety. I thought, this is me and how I act in certain situations, which was actually the advice I got from a GP I went to see.
No recommendation to see a councillor or any sound advice.
It wasn’t until more recently a couple of years ago it struck again, but this time it just wouldn't go away.
A continuous internal battle where I just didn’t know what to think, and why I felt so much mental and physical strain. What I did notice however was these thoughts were showing up in my relationships the strongest.
When we’re in a relationship we are our most vulnerable selves.
We can’t control the future or our partner for that matter, and what I learnt was that when we’re in a relationship we are two people who have grown up completely separately with our own values, our beliefs and some of which may be limited beliefs.
After delving into my limiting beliefs I after many counselling sessions realised I had been telling myself stories and was stuck in a pattern of thinking that although wasn’t true my mind was telling me that it was. Not only was my mind telling me these stories, but I was feeling them mentally and physically. The limiting beliefs were thoughts that I was telling myself, and feeling over and over.
For me it’s been a journey of getting finding the difference between my own thoughts and the anxieties irrational thoughts.
I’m finally learning that I am able to become aware and catch anxious thoughts before reacting when I get “triggered”. Previously it had been very difficult for me to know if I could trust what I was thinking or is it just my mind.
Anxiety can cause common physical symptoms such as:
Tightness / restriction in the chest
Depleted energy
Tightness throughout the body
Seizing muscles
Headaches
Shingles
Vertigo / dizziness
Weight loss / weight gain
For the mind:
Memory loss
Mental strain and exhaustion
The mind is on a quest, a quest to put a case together to solve the world's mysteries that it has created, in which may not actually exist.
You however believe these stories might, have or will happen...but you’re not too sure what to believe at the same time.
The mind is ruling you.
Steps to taking back control from your mind:
Compassion
This is something I for a long time didn’t have any time for, although it is so important and for me is now my number 1 mega tip. Give yourself compassion for how you are feeling.
Put yourself first above others, you are worthy, take care of yourself.
It all starts with you, if you’re not ok you can't help others.
Don't worry about what works for others, worry about what works for you. It all starts with you.
You are feeling this way for a reason and you may not know exactly why these feelings continue to show up but showing yourself compassion and loving yourself, allowing yourself to feel and process is so important.
You ARE numero uno!
2. Get to know your anxiety.
When does it show up?
Can you relate that feeling back to another time? / Is there a pattern?
3. Work through your limiting beliefs.
Where do they come from?
We all have a protector inside us that just wants to help us and keep us safe.
But the reality is we more than likely don't need it’s protection this time but the feeling is still there stuck in the physic.
4. Assess your values.
Are you living your life in line with your values?
What are your values?
Are you living in alignment with them or is being out of alignment with your values causing you anxiety?
5. See your GP.
There is no shame at all in getting prescribed medication.
I avoided medication for over a year trying everything else under the sun before deciding to push aside my ego and the stigma that was associated with medication.
We take panadol, we take the pill, these medications save lives and if you’re so far down the anxiety rabbit hole, you need to give yourself a break or you may only cause yourself more suffering.
I do respect that this isn't for everyone. This is only my experience.
6 . Ask for help.
As well as speaking to a family member or a close friend, sometimes you need a professional who can see things from an outsider's perspective and who specialises in mental health. This can be a councillor or a psychologist.
Don’t be put off if your first session feels odd. I had to see a couple people before I found someone I felt that I gelled with.
7. Yoga.
Yoga has always been my go to, providing me with an escape for my mind to sync up with the breath and take a break.
I love the flow, freedom and giving my mind a task of breath while the body moves to be more intense with the heart than the mind.
8. Meditation & pranayama breathing exercises.
Meditation undoubtedly has incredible effects on the brain and is an invaluable technique you can include in your daily life.
You may have heard the popular hash tag, “yoga every damn day”, well when I think meditation I think “meditation every damn day”. When you are in the midst of an anxiety attack meditation is the last thing you’ll be thinking of however breathing exercises can assist and meditation in the long term can assist in stress relief and awareness (the catching your thoughts before reacting).
We are all different, there are almost eight billion of us humans on the earth. We all have unique coping mechanisms and so the above isn’t for everyone I know that for sure, yet I hope this can assist someone, or maybe just create awareness to those who may have a friend in need of reading this which might start their healing journey.